My parents.

I miss you,
From the bottom of my heart I can’t deny,
Never knew it could ever hurt this much,
Going through my darkest days without you beside me is torture.

So lost,
I can’t find my way,
Independent I have to become,
As I grow and mature through my journey,
Hoping you’ll be proud of me at the finish line.

Who is she?

This girl,

I met her in the streets,

This ordinary girl.

We greeted, but never went any further.

Till one fine night, laughter brought us closer.

Soon, stories of our past lives were told,

To how we come to be where we are now.

Coincidence often pops up when our times are shared.

We were drew back a little,

But in no time, understanding came between us.

The details of my heart and mind, she read it like a book.

In a flash, she could predict what I would do or say,

Knowing me more than what I could make out of myself.

Our times, stories and coincidences shared,

In an instant, our hearts missed the company of each other.

This came to be new to us,

As we set in our minds, friendship would never turn into another.

Now,

Our hearts share one same feeling,

Love.

This girl that I met,

Who is my best friend and most importantly, My Love.

Useless.

I don’t know,

I don’t know how to feel anymore,

I have tried being happy, forcefully. But it just ain’t going right.

I’m starting to lose myself. Who I am or aim to become.

Everything is smooth sailing in my life, but still there’s an emptiness I constantly feel that needed to be filled.

Waiting isn’t easy. I know I should but slowly I’m losing touch with the inside of me.

What I have to complain? I don’t know what is it that I want or need. Searching deep inside, failing every single damn time.

What is it? Tell me. I need to know to get it right again.

Love? From a boy? Or a girl. I don’t fucking know anymore.

But perhaps I’m better off without anyone. It doesn’t make any difference.

I’m stuck between two worlds, or life.

I have been fucked too many times, isn’t there anyone who don’t, in any way?

I’m sick of people. Maybe I should just give up in putting any effort into them.

But why does it feel that I’m doing something wrong? What have I done to deserve this?

I have given my best, but it’s draining my everything.

Is the love that I offer isn’t good enough for you?

Why is it that you do what you did?

I can’t get my head around what you did.

But you have shown me your true self.

I’m sick of apologies, I want to see change.

I have no more tears to cry for anything at all.

After A While by Veronica A. Shoffstall

Thought I share this poem here. (Credits to Pam.)

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn
That love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of woman, not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down In mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns
If you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting for someone
To bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
You really are strong
You really do have worth
And you learn
And you learn
With every goodbye, you learn.

Nothing.

I don't know whether anyone would bother about reading this, but, what the heck.

Sitting in front of my lappy every night has surely taken its toll on me.

I feel sad, lonely and I don't have a life.
Two years, spent my time searching for what's been lost after my high school years.
Hoped for something new but always hitting a dead end or a black hole that totally sucks me into depression.

Friends really matter, but never seem to end up with the right ones.
Can't really say much as the way things turn out can't be controlled.
Tried not dwell so much about life,
But it just eats you from the inside out,
Never stopping.
Once you realize, it has already made a hole in your heart.

Is it too much to ask for someone to be there?
Or am I that low for anyone to care.
Do I have to be significant enough for you to look.

I just want someone. Just one.
Someone close and willing.
But most importantly, I want someone to love.

Anyway, it's getting late.
I will go and cry myself to sleep like a pathetic fool that I am.
Goodnight.

Identities.

The character we ensure in us doesn’t matter anymore,

Only choosing on the ones,

Of what we know that suits the moments.

As it goes by,

Slowly drawing closer as one,

Not recognizing ourselves in the end.

We live our lives in a world we exist in,

Passing each day only hoping for something new.

Have you ever thought, that maybe our lives we have now could be better?
Thus taking the burden to make everything the way it should be.
Our life, friends and family are all that could be included.
Changing ourselves that we know doesn't always work,
If we don't know, what we want or need.

Wanting.

Please hear me out,

Tell me what’s going on.

You’ve gotta let me know,

That we’d never be the same,

All we have is here from now on,

Let’s start over.

My heart is longing for you,

I have never felt this way about love,

Once I have tried giving up,

You came changing my life.

I can no longer hide this,

But all we’ve been through has made it clear to me.

Taking this road that I’ve been through

Knowing we could never be true.

My body desires for your soft touch,

My mind becomes a blank page for you to fill up.

Your skin against mine,

A feeling I can’t deny.

I want to know more of you,

I could hold you in my arms,

I can’t stop thinking of you,

I miss you being next to me,

Never letting go,

So stay with me day and night.

Whisper you the things you wanna hear,

Fulfill the wishes you have in mind,

Needing you here with me always,

Looking into your mesmerizing eyes,

Hoping there’s no tomorrow,

We’d be together forever now and then.